September 30, 2004
pics!

Here they are! Thanks to everyone who made requests. I've done almost all of them - except Harvey's, which was censored, and Helen's, cos I haven't gone through all my old pics yet *grin*.

Magical mikey wanted: *an aussie xmas card [1] taken xmas day 2002 - see sister Lauren's bon-bon hat, and [2] taken on xmas day 2001 at the big presents near the Brewery in Adelaide. Not cards, cos I couldn't find any, but Xmas on a summers day nonetheless.
* A toilet flushing. Although no spiral visible. Sorry!
* And a love note. Look! It even rhymes! (no rack, I'm saving that for Boobie-thon).

The lovely Rose wanted: * brekkie (it's boiled, I eat them on the bus).
* Stinky tasty stuff on toast ('cept I'm not eating toast atm, so the vegemite will just have to do).
* My fave beverage in a glass/bottle etc. I will accept lesser versions, however I prefer the best not that I've ever tasted it.

Margi, you sexay thang, wanted: * The desk, where the blogging gets done [1] [2]. Spot the mega-huge Aussie Starbucks mug. This is USB/email-enabled puter, with the ridiculously big monitor. Which is why some of these pics are prolly way too big, I lose all sense of proportion *sigh*. Sorry bout that.
* Fave shoes with feet in them. Even though Julie was good and only showed one pair, I couldn't choose (spank me)... going out killer heels [1] [2] (you can see puter 2's desk in those shots... and a sign that we perhaps shouldn't have in the house) and fave work flats/casuals.
* A prized possession, something near and dear to my heart. Well, many of the things I'm posting are indeed that (buggles, tarot decks, josie), so I give you this [1] [2] cos I simply cannot live without it. Oh. And these two don't go astray either <3 <3. The other prized 'possession' wasn't sure about having his pic on DQ. Hehe.

When all else fails, I've kept this on my fridge for 3.5 years now, ever since my sis Lauren wrote it. Yes, I have the erotic version of Magnetic Poetry. What did you expect?

Delicious Daniel wanted: * fave logo T (I'm working on it)
* Fave tarot deck. I've gone with two: the one I read most with (complete with thai silk bag and the encyclopedia Daniel wishlisted me for my birthday in June <3), and one I just had to buy cos it's so darned cool... the Limited Edition Rock n Roll Tarot. Try n spot Tory, Bjork, NIN, Pumpkins, Stipe etc.
* Our matching VW Bugs. But I had mine first. Ner.

G-Fry wanted: * Whatever toilet is closest to me right now. See above, honey.

Ms. Empress wanted: * a picture of my pet. I give you... JOSIE, THE FLUFFER! Hear her roar!

Mainey mainey Maine wanted: * A picture of me reading blogs... well, I'm behind the camera, so...
* My TV and remote control. I did take a pic, but it was crap, so this one's still on the way
* My left hand. Each to their own. Here are both hands even. Ignore the manky nails, all my frenchies came off and I'm getting them put back on tomorrow night :).

Ev baby wanted: * a whole bunch o' ridiculous stuff that, while it made me *rofl*, I'm not going to bother with. *grin*
* Fave T-shirt: vintage or classic - again, will have to get back to you cos I forgot to get into my drawers with the camera tonight! Oo er.
* My CD collection. Now, all my music is on the puter these days, I gave away most of my CD's ages ago in a fit of Spring Cleaning (sacriledge I know, but they went to a good home... rest assured they included lots of Blur, Oasis, U2, Pumpkins, Pixies, Bjork, Tori, They Might Be Giants, Sleeper, Pulp, The Cure, Garbage, Blink 182 and many other upbeat poppy things, including about 10 different 80's collections). However, this may suffice. It's my dream to have a library one day.
* A pic of me putting on my face... forgot to take the pic this morning! Coming soon to a mirror near you.
* Desserts. Looks like ice cream and fruit muffins :).
* My inbox.
* ANNNNNDDDDD..... A pic of Ev's comment. *grin*


posted by goldie @ 10:34 PM : comments(19) : view
September 29, 2004
a pic is worth a least a couple of interesting posts

Meme-age, which I scavenged from Ms. Pants cos it's wicked:

--Think of a picture youd like to see from me.
--Leave whatever youd like to see in the comments; things around the house, whatever, stuff that's easily photographed.
--Once I have enough requests, Ill start posting them.
--If I cant feasibly take a photograph of what you'd like to see, I'll let you know and you'll be welcome to give me another option or to tell me to piss off.
--If you ask for something that is pervy and/or I'm not up for it, I'll make fun of you publically. Or not.

PROGRESS (only cos I woke up at 4am): I took heaps of shots last night and had a ball, although none of them are uploaded yet as I fell asleep watching Law and Order sexy!hubby had to work on the USB-enabled 'puter, and now that puter is virus-checkin'.

(Which is also another reason I don't always get to emails quickly - they all get downloaded to that puter, and I only have mail2web and 1 day worth of server time to get to them on this side of the room.)

Other pics may take a day or two - Harvey, I think yours may require a fake tan. Were just coming out of winter here, yo. And mikey, I went for the flush, but I don't think it will answer your question - there was no 'spiralling'. Maybe I'll have to run a bath and let that out to capture it... And Helen... you evil chick *wink*. Believe me, there are WAY too many frumpy pics of me at my mum's place, mainly cos I was a extremely tardy bloomer.

Oooh. Goldie said 'bloomer'.


posted by goldie @ 12:30 PM : comments(15) : view
my alarm clock is fired

So I had an nice early night last night, thinking I'd be up bright and early this morning and off to work on foot.

Nope.

Remember that first scene from Four Weddings and a Funeral?

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posted by goldie @ 09:15 AM : comments(4) : view
September 28, 2004
taking stock (no pun intended)
aries.jpgGeneral daily overview: Our impulses pull us to the edge of the emotional cliff with the Moon now in Aries. It is, however, being offset by the planetary traffic jam in Libra, the sign opposite to Aries. Today, Mercury the Communicator enters Libra to join expansive Jupiter, aggressive Mars and the Sun. Our thoughts seek harmony and balance in the rational realms. The philosophical perspective allows us to move away from self-interest and toward a more global view. An optimistic outlook can help us make positive steps in our lives.
That's one hell of a Libran line-up. Expect to be a little more judgemental than usual, as well as a little more forgiving. Maybe an old relationship will finally be patched up, or an old hurt forgiven. Libra is all about checks and balances.

And believe me. Watch out for the fiery Aries full moon tomorrow/Thursday night (Harvest Moon in the Northern Hemisphere). Things could get very heated very quickly. On the flip side, Aries moons are a great time to part-ay. Baby.

Me, I'm loving Mars in Libra. I'm finally letting out a shite-load of pent-up frustration (both here, other places, and in meatspace) and I feel so much better for it...


posted by goldie @ 09:02 AM : comments(8) : view
September 27, 2004
final-effing-ly

Channel 9 are actually going to start showing the second half of the final series of Sex and the City tonight. I won't have to be a poor, Carrie'n'Big-deprived Aussie girl anymore. Why in HELL they showed the first half in March-April and held the rest over til now, I'll never know. Prolly something to do with that Ratings Pie, and wanting an extra large share of same.

But I'm telling you now. If one more bloody Aussie TV network gets me hooked on one more TV series they've bought on the cheap from overseas, only to show 6 episodes during the Summer season, change its timeslot 3 times during that period, then move it to 1.30am for 3 more episodes (on 3 different nights mind you), and then not bother to finish the series at all... only to begin the second series in primetime a year later as if nothing happened (ala the Shield and Scrubs and countless others lately)...

Well. There will be bloodshed. Ooooh yes. *sharpens claws*

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posted by goldie @ 10:13 PM : comments(9) : view
have you jumped off a bridge just cos everyone else did?

Whored from... lessee... mikey, gennie and rachel (that I've remembered anyways).

Don't know the drill? The embolded things are stuff I've done. Not to say that I don't have plans to do some of the other stuff. I'm finding it just as interesting to see what people haven't done though...

You get 50 points if you read the whole thing.

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posted by goldie @ 07:49 PM : comments(7) : view
darlin', darlin', I don't know why
libra. baby. General daily overview: The Moon is in compassionate Pisces today. We become more aware of other people's feelings but can also get confused about our own boundaries. The big cosmic news, however, is that Mars, the fiery God of War has left analytical Virgo to enter harmonious Libra. Mars moving through Libra until November 10 finds a nicer way to get what he desires. Since Libra seeks balance, Mars here likes to even the score. Although strategies become emphasized, we shouldn't discount the physical drive associated with this transit.
Ahhh... lovely Libra! How I have missed thee!

Get ready for not just a horny 6 weeks (the so-called "physical drive" of passionate Mars in partnership-oriented Libra... oo er), but an incredibly lucky 12 months in lovin'. Jupiter, the planet of expansion and good fortune, is also in this sign of beauty, love and togetherness for a year. If you're lookin' for that special someone, now is sooo the right time.

And if you're just looking for a shag, the next 6 weeks should see you all buff in the boudoir more than once. Although don't go getting too rough and tumble, like these 2 did... (via ms empress and gennie)

Sing it with me... "Darlin' I... oh I... I can't get enough of your love baby..."

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posted by goldie @ 08:30 AM : comments(4) : view
September 26, 2004
ALL-NEW commenty goodness!

To all visitors here at DramaQueen: Due to unforseen circumstances, there have been issues recently with perusers of the content herein being unable to post a response to entries (otherwise know as 'commenting') due to the string 'http://' being added to the MuNuvian Blacklist. 'Comments' were being rejected as containing 'questionable content'.

Please note that this situation has now been rectified forthwith, however it is recommended that you still refrain from using 'http://' anywhere in your responses to entries.

Thank you, and please enjoy your stay here at DQ central.
The Administrators.
DQ


posted by goldie @ 01:31 PM : comments(3) : view
lazy sunday fun

Via Gennie and rachel: a meme! The first meme while I've been at mu.nu in fact.

The Saturday 8 ('cept it's really Sunday down under):

1. How many people have you dated that were not naturalised citizens of your country?
Quite a few actually. My husband was born in Ireland and is half Irish/half Dutch, and a Canadian citizen (Vancouver for 7 years). Plus I dated another Irish guy (a resident but not a citizen), a Liverpudlian and a Scottish bloke. It got to the point when people would see me eyeing off a guy and they'd ask "Does he have an accent? Cos if not, he won't be Goldie's type." But it wasn't on purpose, I swear!!!

2. Have you ever dated someone that was not of your race? How did that work out?
Nope.

3. How many different countries have you visited?
To borrow Gennie's response, "Sadly, none. I plan to remedy that one day." Yes. I guess I need a passport first. It doesn't help that sexy!hubby has been just about EVERYWHERE *grrr*

4. If you could go to a specific country of your choice ... no expenses spared ... where would go visit, and why?
Well Ireland of course. Maybe we'll go with rachel and Gary. sexy!hubby actually wants to take me to Vancouver first though.

5. My favourite food is Greek food (i'm American). What is your favourite international flavour?
In Aus we have sooo many different cuisines, especially Asian due to its proximity and the amount of Asian people living here, so we get treated to all sorts of amazing cuisines. I adore Thai, Indian and Japanese, and I also LOVE Mexican and Italian. YUM!

amelie.bmp6. I love French and Indian movies. What other countries' movies do you enjoy?
Like Gennie, I love British/Irish movies. I grew up with them. I don't much like Aussie movies lately (blasphemy!), but I adored Muriel's Wedding and Priscilla =D. I also love French films (Amelie, the Apartment and Betty Blue to name a couple) no matter how cliched that may sound. I don't mind American movies on average, but what a generalisation that is! Eg, American indie cinema is FABULOUS, while the mainstream stuff averages OK. Depends on what genre you like I guess.

7. How many other languages do you speak besides your native language?
I can speak a little Italian. I'd love to live in France and learn the language from the locals like a friend of mine did.

8. Do you have international friends, and what countries do they come from?
To borrow another response from Gennie, "Thanks to the internet and this blog, I have friends from all over the world. And I love you all! :)" Ditto babe! *mwah*!


posted by goldie @ 11:29 AM : comments(2) : view
Questionable B. Content

I've seen few posts about the place chuckling over the recent crop of 'spam names'. Lately the names showing up in my trash folder seem to consist of 2 randomly thrown together words, with an initial thrust deseperately between them in the hope that the recipient is either 5 years old or has an IQ < 10, and can be fooled into opening the mail (usually some dirty porn stuff ooo er!).

For example: Scrap R. Bridesmaids (what? You wanna elope? Or have you just had another bitchy tiff?), Reload F. Boudoir (so I guess the web cam stuffed up in the brothel again...), Heinous P. Hallucinate (those were some REALLY BAD shrooms, man!!!!), and Oscillating A. Pooh [whose actual email adress was smutty@iloveplymouth.com] (so the shit really DID hit the fan!!!)

But my favourite of late was Spermicides D. Thesauruses.

Any thoughts on what this one could mean? *boggle*


posted by goldie @ 10:14 AM : comments(4) : view
September 25, 2004
port power and the girl who could (party if she wanted to)

OH OH OH AAAHHHHHH &^%$@#!!!!

No, I'm not orgasming (although that might be nice, come to think of it).

No. That's my frustrated noise. Use your imagination, I'm sure it'll make sense.

You see, today Port Adelaide Power won the AussieRules Football League Grand Final in truly glorious, spectacular fashion (C'ARN THE POWER!!!). We completely annihilated Brisbane in fact, and bore it up the Vics (sorry Adam... not) in one luscious fell swoop. YEAH BABY!

But that's not why I'm frustrated.

I spent the first half of the game with my sister CY (whose hair loss from three weeks of radiotherapy is now startlingly, yet proudly apparent), her lovely new boyfriend and her best mate, watching sexy buff men in extremely tiny white shorts pummel each other mercilessly with no body armour to protect them, unlike some other poncy sports they call 'football' ;) and cheering our underdog team along under the Spring sun. Yep, we're having some Weather. Yum.

But that's not why I'm frustrated either.

No. I'm frustrated cos I know this town is going to erupt tonight... AND I HAVE NO FUCKING PLANS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT. I can already hear people's horns as they hoon along a main street nearby, tooting and shouting 'C'arn the Power!'.

But no. NOOO. I chose this weekend to still be sick. It's only 6.37pm and I feel like going for a snooze right now in fact. I also chose Thursday to finally start my bloody Summer weight loss diet, meaning no alcohol. Period. So to avoid temptation, I need to stay in the house. Plus sexy!hubby has to work. He has so much work to do these days, poor dear :(.

So I'm stuck in that limbo - I do kinda sorta wanna go out. I have plenty of people I could call if I wanted to do so, and some gorgeous new shoes I'm just itching to wear out... But am I sure I really want to if I can't have a couple of beers in Powerful celebration?? Let alone the bacteria partying in my sinuses inhibiting me? And then there's all the money I'd spend...

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!


posted by goldie @ 07:42 PM : comments(3) : view
September 24, 2004
bitch 'n' moan

I thought anti-biotics (particularly those of the horse-sized penicillin variety) were sposed to make you... you know... GET BETTER?

Well I'm on my second prescription of those fuckers and about the only reaction my body's giving me is a sore set of intestines as the HSP's eat away all the good bacteria in my body, while letting the bad stuff run rampant.

In fact, I think the bad stuff is having a party in the sinuses near my eye sockets right now, and has been for a couple of days. Not even codeine is inhibiting the pain those flithy little bastards are projecting throughout my entire head. Hell, I even have panadeine plus (that's 15 mg of codeine per tablet baby) and it's not doing a goddamn thing.

On top of all that, I'm due at the dentist for 2 fillings at 9am this morning.

Welcome to my world.


posted by goldie @ 08:21 AM : comments(14) : view
September 22, 2004
woohoo!

Blogger Boobie-thon is on again, supporting two causes close to my heart - breasts and cancer. I'll be in it. Join me if you dare!

Via the uber-scary, halloweeny Joelle.

UPDATE: 'Course, you lovely male people do realise that plenty of guys submit their racks to the Boobie-thon too, don't you? Males can still develop cancer of the boobies, so get a clicking! Harvey already has his shot ready to go...


posted by goldie @ 01:48 PM : comments(11) : view
chocolate me

I have this week discovered the delights of cookie dough, and the homebaking of said product. In fact, I may even be addicted already.

*twitch* *shiver*

However can someone tell me why the makers recommend you don't eat the dough raw? Cos if it's like, poisonous or something, I'm in some seriously deep shite.


posted by goldie @ 01:41 PM : comments(14) : view
our own lil game of Balderdash

Dictionary.com's Word of the Day just happens to be:

tatterdemalion \tat-uhr-dih-MAYL-yuhn; -MAY-lee-uhn\, noun

Wowee. This Word is just way too much fun. Now before you click on the link in my sidebar for the definition, tell me what you think it means. Cos believe me... the real definition ain't nowhere near as good as I thought it would be.

*mutter* bloody tease of a word *mutter*

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posted by goldie @ 12:25 AM : comments(7) : view
September 21, 2004
train tracks, train tracks part 2

Guess what? I'm in a net cafe on my lunch break. Sad, but true. But I just had to tell you stuff.

So I just came back from my ortho appointment. Do you want the good news first, or the bad news?

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posted by goldie @ 01:49 PM : comments(6) : view
skinny dippin'

Spring gets me thinking about beautifying all sorts of stuff (hence my Lush orders *grin*). Which you may have noticed, given the four skins (designs) I now have prettying the place up here at DQ.

So I'd already picked out an image for my next skin (to give DQ a taste of the Aussie Summer), and I sent it to Diva Cherry for her opinion, with the aim of having a go at this whole designing thing myself. Lo and behold, the sweetheart was on a slow day and skinned it all up for me as a present! Hah!

As we say in Aussie, "legend... legend... deadset legend". That means you're fucking fabulous Cherry. Everyone. Go give Cherry a hug.

I'm keeping the skin under wraps til the end of October, but check out shag.com and see if you can't find my source image.

Meanwhile, Julie has been most busy designing up the holiday skin I was lucky enough to score via this moxie special. Without giving too much away (although it is about the place in portfolios and the like), this skin will have you thinking 'cheeky' thoughts about Xmas 'stocking stuffers'. *wink*

THANK YOU JULIE!

Ooo er! I'm almost looking forward to Xmas now. *naughty grin*


posted by goldie @ 06:55 AM : comments(9) : view
September 20, 2004
lush-TASTIC!

karma_delux_box_big.gifRemember the entry I wrote last week, featuring Lush Cosmetics in juxtaposition to nasty big corporate conglomerates who have lost sight of their customers among other things?

Well, right now I'm a little speechless... you see, I had been busy figuring out what I wanted to buy from Lush, which inspired the post. Then I sent the lush.au team a link to said post, mainly cos I'm a pr/marketing girl myself and I like to know when I'm spanking my target audience in a manner that pleases them. I figured they would too.

I was right. And apparently they liked it.

In fact, they liked it so much that when they packed up my order, they thought to drop a little something (with a 5ml perfume instead of the 30ml in the link) in the box along with everything else!

*does cartwheels around the house*

THANK YOU Lush! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Now there's a company who knows how to do business - by keeping their customers happy (and not just with their heavenly aromatherapy). I know I'll certainly be telling more people in Adelaide to start ordering online. And it's not like they had to convince me. I was already a loyal customer. The products are unique and quite frankly sell themselves.

And if that's not enough to convince you of their coolness, no-one can resist a company with hilariously in-depth answers to questions like "Why did Nostradamus get it wrong and how far out do you think he was?", "Which dog has the deepest woof?", "How do you explain the current slump in the American economy?", and "Are you lot bonkers or what?" in their FAQ.

See? Kewler than Fonzie.


posted by goldie @ 07:41 PM : comments(7) : view
did anyone order lobster thermidor??

Anyone? ...Bueller? Because I seem to have gotten just a wee bit excited about our 22 degree C weather yesterday and overdosed on the ole sunshine. Hmmm. Yes.

It was worth it though. Several of my friends gave the annual City to Bay Fun Run a go in the morning, and although I piked cos I've been sick last week (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it), I joined them to celebrate my friend Tanya's (of the now-retired Tanya's Harp fame) birthday on the beach. Yum!

However due to the fact that a) on Saturday during my retail therapy session, I had procured the very same blue babydoll top as seen on the mannequin in this shot, and b) the ambient temperature outside was just about at 'strip off n get sexy' level... well, I had no choice but to expose some flesh of the shoulder and decolletage variety. I mean, come on!

Ergo, I am now suffering for my overindulgence. But it's allll good. Between Port Power winning their semi-final (Aussie Rules footy, dontcha know. It has just about religious status here) and today's 26 degree effort from the weather gods, everyone was in a good mood at work today. So I wasn't going to let a little sunburn piss me off. =D


posted by goldie @ 06:52 PM : comments(2) : view
September 19, 2004
it's that time again

ahhh! mikey gave me fair warning, but I read this entry anyway.

And what am I talking about? Survivor, of course. It starts Tuesday night for us Aussies. So we'll officially be 5 days behind devotees in the US.

*note to self: tread carefully 'round mikey's for the next few months* (even though he's always very diligent with his extended entries. I just suffer from an extreme lack of willpower)

Although I gotta say... am I the only one who's a little Survivor-ed out? This will technically be the third series in 12 months after all. Better watch out there Mark Burnett. All this Surviving and Firing. The reality gravy train's gonna pull into the terminus sometime very soon, Marky, especially if The Donald keeps on using The Apprentice as one big pimpage-vehicle for his Trumpire. And then where will you be, hmmm? Up some some 'desert' island's creek with out a paddle? ...with your own helicopter waiting to rescue you?

/slight overreaction


posted by goldie @ 05:52 PM : comments(8) : view
b-grade-pulp-movie scream
General daily overview: The Moon enters optimistic Sagittarius at 10:29 am EDT(US), symbolizing our need to extend ourselves beyond current limitations. There are weird undercurrents, however, that make things a bit tilted. With intellectual Mercury in an annoying aspect of adjustment to spacey Neptune, it is difficult to bring logical thoughts to conclusion. Even a good idea that seems well-developed can end up going nowhere. Try to remain open to unexpected twists of fate. The most important things can happen for no apparent reason.
Erm OK. It's not like there haven't been any 'twists of fate' come my way in the last 6 months. Heh. So I guess I'll just roll with the punches.

Other than Blogrolling's issues slightly (and somewhat surprisingly) hampering my regular surfing (who knew I depended so on my 'recently updated' list?! 'Goldmember' indeed.) it's rather quiet round here.

Chocolate has been consumed as required. Therapy of the retail variety has been undertaken. And downright raunchy $9 Long Island Iced Teas were imbibed at the Banque on more than one occasion (alcoholic-ear-infection-therapy is most effective). In fact, if you're an Adelaide party person partial to a quality drink that's kind to your hip pocket, you'd be hard pressed to find a better cocktail deal anywhere in the city. Get yer ass to the Banque, stat. I adore the place. It's where everybody kows my name.

Anything fateful happening out there with you lot? C'mon. Tell aunty goldie.


posted by goldie @ 10:49 AM : comments(5) : view
September 17, 2004
slippin' in my sexy side

Stolen from the Cherry blossom:
You're Betty Boop!
Betty Boop


Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm. I can live with that. However I'm still incensed they used Wilma Flintsone as one of their other Sexy Cartoon Chicks. You think they would have at least gone with Pebbles.

UPDATE: yep G-Fry, Pebbles and Bam Bam grew up and had their own cartoons as Harvey said. And she was a lil hottie!

The other options included Jess Rabbit (who certainly IS drawn that way) and Daphne from Scooby Doo, who I always thought was a bit of a hornbag really, behind all that mysteriousness of course. However I can't remember the other one... obviously she wasn't any good.


posted by goldie @ 09:15 PM : comments(10) : view
September 15, 2004
one day at a time

You know, if you keep your eyes peeled, you can learn at least one new thing each and every day.

Today I took advantage of my sick day off work to take my sister CY to her radiotherapy treatment, and I was lucky enough to learn several new things:

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posted by goldie @ 10:57 PM : comments(6) : view
harvey's birthday wishlist...

...was simple.

I'm getting old. I'm falling apart. The only thing that can save me is boobie pictures. If you post them at your blog, I'll link you on Wednesday.
Well Harv, I can hardly ignore that, can I! Here's your boobie picture, stat.

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posted by goldie @ 09:14 AM : comments(19) : view
September 14, 2004
well i knew i was sick

...but this isn't ridiculous at all.

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Goldieitis
Cause:allergy to civet cats
Symptoms:mild hypothermia, floating hair, seeing dead people, photophobia
Cure:infect someone else
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

::cough::
::infect::
OK, I should be all better now.

Although no one could accuse me of photophobia. *ahem*


posted by goldie @ 11:47 PM : comments(7) : view
September 13, 2004
I know you wanna snog me...

I'm officially sick. Isn't that great?

No, really. I mean it. It's fantastic. You see, I've been feeling like shit for weeks. Kinda fluey, swollen in the neck, and my sinuses have been giving me hell. Plus my ears felt funny. No, I can't describe it any better than that. Believe me, I tried.

But none of it was enough to go bother the doctor with. Hey, we all feel fluey at times. It's probably hayfever (common as sheep among us Aussies). Nothing to make a fuss about.

Then the Disturbing Symptom developed. You know what I mean. Waves of nausea are never a good thing.

So off I trotted to the doc, where I was given the uber-satisfying diagnosis of Nasty Ear Infection. One worth two prescriptions of double strength, horse-pill-sized penicillin tablets. One where I can actually say to any doubters, "Look! I wasn't whining about nothing for the past few weeks! Look at my horse pills. Look how big and anti-bacterial they are!"

I feel so damn justified right now =D.


posted by goldie @ 11:52 PM : comments(12) : view
loving thoughts

After my time off, I'm starting to remember why I loved the internet, and particularly blogging, again.

I love that I can meet people like this in a far off land who have similar views and ideas to me.

I love that I can wake up and find a brand new, simply beautiful skin layout just waiting to surprise me from this chick or this chick.\

And I love that this guy has me chuckling at 6.30 in the morning (no mean feat, I assure you) because he linked to a site called 'Junk Food News' (because junk food obviously requires its own news page) in a comment on this entry. And Harv, yes a Breakaway is not unlike a KitKat (which we have here also). There's a version of the Breakaway in a format similar to the chunky KitKat. However, where Breakaway beats KitKat hands down is in the amount of chocolate surrounding the wafers in the big blocked version. No contest.

See? And I love that can deconstruct chocolate online and people may actually agree with me.

Case closed. I'm back.


posted by goldie @ 08:44 AM : comments(11) : view
September 12, 2004
in memoriam

There are a few posts around the place on exactly where people were when they heard about 9-11.

I remember getting a call at about 11.15 pm (Aussie time) that night from a good friend saying "Ohmigod, ohmigod! They've flown into the World Trade Centre in New York!".

You might kill me for this, but the next thing I thought was "...so?". Really. Which I think was more a testament to all the movies and television I'd seen documenting disasters. It truly didn't feel real to me, and I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.

It didn't help that I happened to be snogging away in the back corner of Spats Cafe on my second date with my now-husband.

In fact it didn't hit me at all until I got home later that night and saw the horrific images on the news... images of the planes careering straight into the buildings. Of the people trapped inside jumping resignedly to their deaths, rather than waiting helplessly to be crushed or consumed by fire. Of the firefighters who charged in fearlessly to save the lives of those who couldn't help themselves, and ended up sacrificing their own.

Even in a country thousands of miles away, we'll never forget.

We keep a huge piece of broadsheet newsprint, a full colour panorama of the massacre, tacked up on our office wall to remind us of those qualities that separate us from the animals: compassion, conscience, tolerance and intelligence. And regret.


posted by goldie @ 07:08 PM : comments(20) : view
niche markets and the product-deprived girl

I'm a chick (at least I was last time I checked). And as chicks the world over will attest to, we love shopping.

In fact, I don't think love is a strong enough word. I ADORE shopping. I CRAVE it. I crave the cleansing, cathartic effect it has on me as I spot, select, single out, stamp my claim and finally secure the items of my desire. The only way to get closer to serotonin heaven would be shopping with a block of Cadbury Breakaway clamped firmly in hand.

Yes, shopping is an id-like, tribal throwback thing for females. An extension of the hunter-gatherer instinct just crying out for expression in today's modern world.

Being an Aussie chick, and a summer-lovin' one at that, I require both clothing of a reasonably gorgeous nature, and enough bathroom paraphenalia to keep me sweetly-smelling and smoothly-sloughed throughout the entire summer season.

As you can see, my preferred way of achieving the latter is via Lush Cosmetics. All natural, preservative free, no animals, and they smell like heaven. As we don't have a Lush in Adelaide (anymore), I've had to resort to either ordering it online, or stocking up big on trips to Melbourne and Sydney.

So imagine my absolute delight at discovering (through sphinxy's product whoring, actually, check out the skin-so-named) that Lush have partnered up with Amazon in their brand new Beauty shop. At last! A path to wish-list heaven!

Or so I thought.

More

posted by goldie @ 01:33 PM : comments(5) : view
September 11, 2004
making a grand entrance

I have a couple of different sides to me. Sometimes it causes problems, but mainly it just means I get enough variety in my day to keep me interested.

For example, the side with a little more devil in it had certain ideas for my first three skins: flirty, cheeky, fun yet classic.

And the side with a little more halo adores this classy new creation by Julie of blogmoxie: clean, stylish and downright glam.

Yep. Now I really do have something to keep both the horns and the halos happy.

You've outdone yourself Julie. And so quickly too! Thanks to the moxie team for such fabulous service - you girls sure know how to run a business!

And if you wanna get some moxie, now is the best time to do it with this fabulous holiday special. I can hardly wait to see what Julie comes up with for my holiday request...

*cheeky grin*


posted by goldie @ 11:26 AM : comments(9) : view
the importance of a good plan

Hey, you know all that stuff I was gonna get done today?

Well. Blogs were surfed, tea was drunk, dressing gown was inhabited, Buggles was be-tyred... and that's about it.

*cheerful grin*

No wonder I feel so good.


posted by goldie @ 03:50 AM : comments(2) : view
September 10, 2004
train tracks, train tracks!

Lovely Helen wrote a beautiful entry the other day on how many ages she can feel in a single day. I must say I know the feeling.

Especially since I went to the dentist on Wednesday morning, and was instantly transported back to being 13 years old when he uttered some fateful words:

"You need to have your braces put back on again."

Yep, that's right. Three thousand bucks and 18 months of a ripped up mouth and continuous pain (of both the physical and insecure-teenaged-emotional kind) have apparently slipped right down the drain.

It got even weirder when I rang my old ortho, and when I told the receptionist my maiden name she actually remembered who I was. Fifteen years on.

Now don't get me wrong - I don't look like Austin Powers or anything, but it's got to the point where I can't get my bottom teeth clean, and my gums are exacting revenge on me for not keeping their living quarters spic and span.

I would go with invisalign (ala Tom Cruise), but with a six to eight thousand dollar hit to the hip pocket and no insurance willing to cover it, it's not worth it. Looks like the good ole clear plastic brackets for me if I want some dosh back from the insurers. Although I gotta say, the ortho should be giving me this treatment for free in my opinion!

So. Anyone else out there who has embraced the archwire in adulthood?


posted by goldie @ 12:44 PM : comments(9) : view
did someone say relax and take it easy?

Ahhh... nothing like a free day off. A day where I can do absolutely anything I want. A day in which I can be a completely lazy-assed bitch and absolutely no one will care.

Surf blogs all day? Yep! Tweak my new templates so they're just right? Yep! Sit round in my fluffy duck dressing gown til 4pm, drinking cup after cup of strong tea? You betcha baby!

More

posted by goldie @ 11:29 AM : comments(4) : view
September 09, 2004
well when you put it like that

From Rob Brezsny's weekly astrology newsletter:

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you believe your body is inherently sinful or if you're offended by references to your private parts, stop reading now.

More

posted by goldie @ 07:59 AM : comments(8) : view
fits like a second (and third) skin

Being a Gemini girl, I like variety. I'm also notorious for my inability to make a decision. Hey, I can see beauty in just about anything, mkay.

So when I found not one, but three pics I just adored while surfing for images for Cherry to use when designing my my new layout... well. I could hardly go with just one. I was actually very pleased with myself for narrowing it down to three pics in the first place.

And after a week of hard work on Cherry's part (and of hard indecision on my part), I am uber-proud to present to you two more dq layouts.

Click here for a damn good spanking, or here for something a teeny bit wet 'n' sticky. Or why not try the 'skin me' drop down box in the 'about me' section, even.

Yeah baby. Just the way I like it.

So what are you waiting for?! Go chat to the Divas about a wickedly brilliant makeover. Seriously, you'll be glad you did. I feel like a brand new dramaqueen =D.


posted by goldie @ 12:45 AM : comments(9) : view
September 07, 2004
a wonderful new me

*slinks secretly in*

*slips seductively into her stylish and ever-so-slightly salacious new skin*

Welcome to the All New dqHQ... won't you stay a while for my skin-warming party? *oo-er*

What do you think of the place? Bit of Billie Holliday playing over here, some organza thrown over the dressing screen over there... and a Gin 'n' Tonic with Extra Lemon for everyone who comes through the door.

What's that? You'd like to know who my decorator is? Why, none other than the delectable Cherry at Web Divas. Do have a look at their portfolio and brilliant specials, and make sure you tell them goldie sent ya.

And Cherry, thanks for your fabulous work and for being so patient with all my tweaks and template issues. You're just fabulous hon!


posted by goldie @ 01:58 PM : comments(28) : view
cherry blossoms in the breeze

Ahhh. I love September.

Spring has definitely started sprung-ing. The Royal Adelaide Show is in full swing (complete with the All New, All Amazing Pig Diving Act!). Most of my herbs n veggies are in pots (basil, sage, capsicum [or bell peppers to the uninitiated], garlic and roman strawberries, but there wasn't any spring onion *horror*). The cherry blossoms are out in Pennington Gardens. It stays light after 6pm. I gallavanted saucily about in a vintage singlet top on Saturday night and was actually hot (...temperature-wise, that is). And my lil sis has even fallen in love (amazing how positive that is for the immune system).

And... most critically important of all...

The new season TV shows are finally here. Which means 6 Feet Under (in the cult 10.30pm channel 9 timeslot usually occupied by either it or the Sopranos... I'm still on a high from the first episode, which I just watched), Survivor Vanuatu (cannibals eat your heart out), and ... Australian Idol.

My money's on Chanel and/or Marty to inherit the crown - a modest vintage princess in the vein of Bjork and a versatile chrome dome with no problems being himself. I don't know about you...


posted by goldie @ 01:59 AM : comments(6) : view
September 06, 2004
beauty in it's purest form

Dean Esmay has a gorgeous deconstruction of female beauty through the ages, based in art and photography.

Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words.


posted by goldie @ 08:59 AM : comments(3) : view
*breathes a nice, deep cleansing breath*

Wow. Thanks to everyone for all your comments on my last post. I just got through responding to them all (in brief, cos I have to go to work) and realised just how dramatic everything sounded when it was laid out like that. Funny that.

It's not like there haven't been good times. And it's not like I haven't been at least partially responsible for a lot of the bad ones. I firmly believe we make our own choices and lay in our own beds once we've made them. Hospital corners or no.

Which is probably why I have an anxiety disorder. But anyways...

I know I could have coped with any one or two of those situations on their own. It was just when they all came stampeding along, one after the other - BANG BANG BANG - that I started to implode. And that's why I withdrew for a bit. Simple as that.

The main thing I wanted to express was that, as I said in my comment responses, I hope you all understand how much it truly means to me to be welcomed back with open arms like this. How much it buoys me up and gives me joy, to both hear your thoughts and advice on my issues, and your open acceptance of the same from me.

What an incredibly wonderful, compassionate, generous and talented group of people I know online.

Bah! Now I might cry ;).


posted by goldie @ 08:46 AM : comments(4) : view
September 05, 2004
pin the bunny in the tail... no, wait

Lord. I haven't been back five minutes and I'm already galavanting round in a playboy bunny outfit ala Bridget Jones over at Harvey's comment-party. Which happens to be minus Harvey. Oh dear.

However, that's nothing. You should see LeeAnn the Cheesemistress dressed in her superb nurse's getup... And Susie's already contemplating setting off the smoke alarm just so some studly hunks arrive to save the day.

Ahhhh... *breaths deep*. It's so good to be back in the 'sphere!


posted by goldie @ 05:51 PM : comments(4) : view
September 04, 2004
hey kiddies... part deuce

Hello, hello. It's been a funny ole Saturday already. I was up at 5.30 and rather flushed to find screen shots of my new skins from the delectable Cherry in my inbox. I am sooo excited, you have no idea. OK, maybe you do. It's the little things giving me pleasure right now :).

Since then I've been pottering around with sexy!husband. We were going to plant our herbs today cos the moon's in just the right phase, but neither of us could be effed to even drive to Bunnings for seedlings, let alone get our hands dirty. In fact I was so tuckered out I fell asleep on the lounge floor. Ergo, I have no birthday presents for dear Mark and Amy tonight. Bugger and blasterooney.

So let's see. Last post I'd made it to June. But I just realised I'd skipped a couple of things critical to how I was feeling...

Firstly, to answer Lisa's question on how they found my URL, it was all due to my own stupidity. I gave it to 5 friends at work, who gave it to five friends, etc. With so many people logging on to look at it each day, it's no wonder it flagged in their regular analyses of non-work-related sites. And fair enough too. Yet they only knew it was me cos I was stupidly vain enough to put my pic up. Heh.

SO! Basically, once they'd taken my internet away (like they were punishing a school kid) and told me I had no career there anymore, I came off my hobby horse in a biiig way. And funnily enough, before that I was feeling the best I had in ages... I was enjoying my blog, my job, my friends... everything was going awesomely well. The cynics among you might say that the time was just ripe then for something to go wrong. Those the highest up have the farthest to fall. And fall I did. It might have run off someone else's back, but that punishment hit me at my very core.

I was going to work in a haze during that time. And between wanting to blog, yet not wanting to in case they read it, doing all my surfing at home and therefore coming in late, and feeling that there really was no point me being at work anyway if the executive managers didn't like me and I had no career... well. You can start to see why I was apathetic about getting out of bed on time.

No wonder I got myself into trouble. Hindsight is 20/20.

Still, I was starting to come good when in late April, a series of misunderstandings lead to me being frozen out by my work friends, who I was quite close with. It happened little by little. One minute we were all planning nights out and shopping every lunch time, and next minute one particular girl had decided I was on the blacklist and suddenly they were always 'too busy' for lunch, or doing something else on the weekend. Unfortunately the rest of 'em followed suit and stopped talking to me so much too.

It didn't help that one of the other girls was in my team. And because I felt so hurt and betrayed I only made half-hearted attempts at trying to reconcile it with her. Hey, they'd ousted me. What was I sposed to do? Beg? When the whole group had rejected me? Especially since none of us had ever really talked about it... no one had ever said to me 'right, you're out.' I never got closure. I think I was just sposed to get the hint. Some might ask why I let it bother me so much, but you spend more time with your workmates than you do your real friends when you think about it. (I now think it had something to do with me being in trouble at work... brushes and tar and all).

Then when I got the news in June about my sister, it was the girl in my team who's office I ran to, an hysterical mess, because we'd been so close before. This sort of thing should bridge friendship, right?

But she wasn't there. I eventually bumped into them out in the hallway, having all come back from coffee together, and I fell into a mess on the carpet, realising the extent of their rejection at the same time as the absoloutely shock of my sister's out-of-the-blue diagnosis.

It was worse the next week. I could barely sit at my desk. On the tuesday it was my birthday, and they gave me a card, a chocolate and a magazine as a group (nothing like the presents and hand-designed cards we've always done for a each other), said happy birthday, endured an awkward silence and went back to their desks. Not one word about my sister or how I was. It finally came to a head when none of them turned up for my birthday drinks on the Friday night. I don't know why I even deluded myself by inviting them. But they finally made it very clear why they weren't there when I texted them to ask.

The following week, right before CY's operation, my boss decided I needed performance counselling again (as I mentioned at the end of the last post). All of my peers had lost respect for my ability to do my job, and all my friends had bailed out. Can you see why I was feeling so bitter about going to work?

About this time I went into coping mode I think. Anything that had been 'causing trouble' in my life had to go, along with anything that made me think too much. My brain was having enough trouble coping with so much change and hurt and shock that I think it just shut down.

Ergo, the ole DQ fell by the wayside. Even though you guys had always accepted me for who I was, and sent monumental messages of support from around the globe. Even though I had been so happy being here with you. There was so much dissonance in my head around blogging... memories of some of the very best and very worst experiences all fighting for precedence, that I needed to reject it for a while. So I could sort everything else out. So I could heal. So I could help my family heal.

I spent most of my spare time in July in front of the heater on the beanbag, reading Bridget Jones' Diary 1 and 2, and then Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix for the third time. Comfort food for the soul.

It was damn good actually.

I coped by focusing on all the good stuff in my life. I have a fabulous group of friends outside work. CY seemed to be on the mend. We threw a fabulous bash for sexy!husband's 30th at the end of July, which was also damn good (70 people, a DJ friend of G's and a shitload of alcohol. Awesome.). And he took me away for a surprise holiday to Melbourne for our 2 year wedding anniversary on the 10th of August. Fabulous.

Somewhere in there the ISP ate our database, which is why I can't post at my old site, and neither can you post comments. It was hard enough to recover all my archives, let alone get the database up and running again.

Maybe the universe was trying to tell me I shouldn't've been so stubborn back in February about moving to new digs.

Anyway, we came back from Melbourne on the 10th of August, and on the 11th we found out that CY's tumour was malignant. *exhale*

Two days after that, my bosses had decided I wasn't improving at work (would you be, with so much apathy, depression and other stuff to deal with? Not to mention bitchy girls refusing to even look at you in the hallway?) and decided that it was high time they gave me a written formal warning. That meant (and still means) that if I fuck up, they can fire me at a moment's notice.

...

Believe me, I'm sitting her wondering if this post is a good idea. I have no idea if they know about this site yet. I'm hoping not. I've looked at it once from work, but only once, and told no one about it. Who knows. I'm almost past caring.

So yeah. There you go. The last 8 months seems to have been all about the universe teaching me and mine a lesson we won't forget in a hurry. I've had my victim moments, and my moments of complete and utter optimism and strength.

In my 'weaker' moments (mainly in the last 3 weeks) I've contemplated cutting myself to let the hurt out. To watch it all bleed away, slowly... cos it's the only outlet I can see for release, even though I've NEVER done anything like that before. I've cried my heart out hysterically in the toilets at work more than once, asking why my family, why me, and thought about going back to my desk, printing out a lovely long and detailed suicide note (mentioning the bitchy girls and my boss in particular), and slitting my wrists in the toilets. Just so they could come find me.

Sometimes I really earn the title of this blog, eh?

But I'm strong enough and experienced enough to know that the feelings pass eventually. Those who suffer from depression know about 'the hole', and if you wait long enough, you can eventually climb back out. I'm lucky I have such an understanding and caring husband, let alone my family and friends. But lucky him gets to see the bulk of it.

Aa a status update on the work sitch, I have my final meeting next week to resolve the formal warning. My boss has indicated to me that she thinks everything's fine and there should be no probs with the warning being lifted. I realise I've made her sound like a dragon, but I guess in her situation I would have wondered what to do myself. She has a business to run. We're actually on very good terms, quite friendly really. But it was my mum (a manager herself)who gave me the best piece of advice on how to eventually resolve it all: "unplug yourself from what you see as the unfairness of the whole situation, stop seeing your boss as the enemy and start thinking of her as your best ally. Only she has the power to help you through this. That way you both win." And, like most times, my mum was right. I was just so caught up in my emotions that I couldn't see it before.

I realise that I got myself into a lot of this mess, and I take full responsibility for my actions. Even when I'm feeling like a victim, it's because I'm cursing myself for being so stoopid ;). But i can't think about the maybes and what-ifs. I'll drive myself even more insane if I do.

And as for dear CY... well, this post is as much as we know. She's in radiotherapy 5 days a week, for 6 weeks. We can only hope the side effects will be minimal and that the malignant crap will be excised from her head completely. And hopefully (metaphorically speaking) from mine too.

So. It's officially 'new start' time. A new chapter in my life... New blog, new group (thanks so much for taking me on, Pixy and the MuNuvians! You guys ROCK!) and soon a new design.

It's all downhill from here.


posted by goldie @ 06:22 PM : comments(18) : view
September 03, 2004
whew!

I totally forgot how many of you there are. Thanks for being so wonderful with your comments on the last post - I've read them all and appreciated them wholeheartedly in between (slowly but surely) visiting everyone on my blogrolls, and surfing for pics for my new layout. Actually, I've found a couple of gorgeous images, after surfing 9 sites and probably over 250 pics. Thanks to Cherry for being so gawddamn patient with me sending her multitudes of jpgs as a form of talking to myself about which one I wanted.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention - Web Divas (also staffed by the bitchalicious rachel) are doing some fab design work for me (along with blogmoxie). What a bunch of talented chicks I know...

It's been a funny ole day. Our dear lil cat Josie had what one might call a mild dose of the trots last night, resulting in some lovely skid marks all over our slate and carpets and a wonderful perfume pervading the entire house. Charming.

And today was also my sister's first day of radiotherapy treatment for her tumour. I went along for moral support as did my other sister Lauren, and my mum of course. Things haven't been all easy with this. We found out last week that the radiotherapy may not be side-effect-free when administered to the brain area, as it may be on other parts of the body. CY may be in for anything from blindness to losing her ability to have children. Not to mention losing some intelligence. And any hair loss may either be permanent, or grow back completely different from what it is now. IE, one woman had brown wavy hair and ended up with jet black straight hair. Spooky n weird.

I also saw her CT scans for the first time ever today. I have deliberately avoided them cos I've always been queasy of inside-body parts, but she made me look. That bloody tumour took up almost a quarter of her brain area in it's thickest part before they took it out in une (thank god they got it all). I could see where her cerebrum had been squashed over by it. Fuck me.

The main problem is with CY thinking she's going to be an utter freak, and that no one in the future will want to be her friend, let alone love her romantically. That coupled with some lil issues around 'control' and 'independence' between her, Lauren and my Mum isn't making things easy (and believe me, I'm caught in the middle cos I can see both sides of the story... not that my mum has really done anything wrong in my eyes. Seriously ill people have so many things to deal with, and losing their independence is certainly one of them for my dear sis). But she coped amazingly well considering. My Dad has also come for a visit from Hong Kong. Which is surreal. I haven't seen him for ages, you see.

Having Aunty Flow (painters and decorators) round to visit this morning hasn't helped either *sigh*.

So now that I've been so focused on my new design and a whole heap o' other 'day-to-day' stuff, it's suddenly got to 11.30 and I won't be continuing my story from yesterday just yet. Thanks again to all for your encouraging words and thoughts. They mean the absolute world to me!


posted by goldie @ 12:46 AM : comments(10) : view
September 01, 2004
hey kiddies, learn a lesson from grandma goldie mkay?

Heh, I think a couple of people got the wrong end of the stick with my last entry... I meant I was going to spring-clean my blogroll of course. Although I'm not sure I did too much actual cleaning. Cos that's a dirty word an' all.

(Note: I apologise for the severe lack of extended-entryness. I hate it when they're not 'collaspsible' and take you to another page, and I can't be bothered installing a script tonight. Yes, I am anal about my blog - if I can't do it right I just won't bother. Oh, and apologies to those who've heard all or part of my melodramatic hooey already *kiss kiss*)

So. Now I'm sitting here, with a minor codeine-withdrawal headache, wondering exactly where to start.

Do I start with our ISP woes? (I mean, what kind of ISP gives their clients 36 hours notice via email to back up all their files or they're screwed? It's not like they didn't have enough space on their porn other servers to back up some small personal sites. But then THAT would constitute actual customer service, which I'm sure they'd never want to be accused of /rant)

Do I start with why I finally stopped writing a couple of months back, after months of negative reinforcement?

Do I start with my sister's tumour actually being diagnosed as malignant 3 weeks ago, after we were told it was very likely benign?

Oooooh... the DRAMA!

You know what? I'm so bloody tired I can't even make up a silly story in an attempt to make you laugh. Instead, I'll give it to you straight:

Back in February (yes, it goes back that far), I was severely disciplined at work for certain entries I wrote on my blog about how 'things' were 'done' there. They took my internet away as a punishment for three months, even though it severly hampered my ability to do my job and even though I'd never made a post from there (not since i was on blogspot anyways). I was also told I had no career there amd that i was lucky not to be going to court. Even though i never used any names. Even though I was only venting my feelings, not stating anything as fact.

I was given an offical warning straight up. Which I prolly should have seen coming. But anyway. And I prolly should have switched domains straight away to give myself some peace of mind. But anyway again.

I wasn't going to let them get to me, you see? I wasn't going to let them win by switching domains. But I was constantly wondering of course. And knowing that they were monitoring everything I wrote, my stubborness eventually lead me to censor myself. Any idiot could have told me I was going to do that. So they won anyway. Bloody pride.

I'd already developed a major blogroll problem (mainly cos you're all just too cool). That coupled with my addiction to surfing and *gasp* commenting on other people's sites, meant that I was getting to bed after 1 most nights, then getting up at 6.30, surfing some more, and getting in to work late. Even though I was already in trouble.

When it comes to my little pleasures I have very little discipline (as many of you will know). So of course this turned into a vicious cycle. I was always in late, always tired, and as my job as an editor requires a certain, shall we say, attention to detail... well, it wasn't long til I was in major league issue-town.

About this time my anxiety and panic attacks came back with a vengeance, and I finally pushed myself to visit the doctor and start on what sexy!husband and I refer to as my 'brain pills'. Yum. Little white cruchy ovals full of serotonin producing-goodness. I still don't know why I waited so long.

Meanwhile my boss started performance counselling sessions in an effort to 'rehabilitate' me. I was nearly through when my sister was diagnosed with her brain tumour in june. I went literally to pieces for a week, which i took as sick leave (this was less than a 1/3 of what I had accrued). And according to my boss I'd 'lost my focus' once again. She sat me down and gave me a good talking to when I came back to work. She was actually really MEAN to me. She told me I had to separate my personal life and my work life and just get on with things.

No, really.

I suppose some people might think that your 25 year old sister being diagnosed with cancer was an everyday emotional occurence that you could just block out and keep working, but I'm just not one of them.

Fuck this for a joke, I just lost half my entry. No seriously!

ARGH...

To be continued (cos there's no way I'm going to soend another half-hour rewriting what i just wrote ;)


posted by goldie @ 09:35 PM : comments(18) : view