aha. resigned. braces. can't close ,my bloody mouth cos bloody peorcelain brackets stopping me fromm even chewing my dinner. feel 13 again.

*strecthes lips into rocky horror pose. gnashes teethe. more than once*

evil bloody things. torture devices of the devil. fleur de lys champagne is really rather nice. the cat's licking my elbow. goodnight.

UPDATE: OK, it;'s all I can do to not rip them off me damned tooths. GET THEM OFFF!!!

I think I should go to bed.

OH OH OH AAAHHHHHH &^%$@#!!!!

No, I'm not orgasming (although that might be nice, come to think of it).

No. That's my frustrated noise. Use your imagination, I'm sure it'll make sense.

You see, today Port Adelaide Power won the AussieRules Football League Grand Final in truly glorious, spectacular fashion (C'ARN THE POWER!!!). We completely annihilated Brisbane in fact, and bore it up the Vics (sorry Adam... not) in one luscious fell swoop. YEAH BABY!

But that's not why I'm frustrated.

I spent the first half of the game with my sister CY (whose hair loss from three weeks of radiotherapy is now startlingly, yet proudly apparent), her lovely new boyfriend and her best mate, watching sexy buff men in extremely tiny white shorts pummel each other mercilessly with no body armour to protect them, unlike some other poncy sports they call 'football' ;) and cheering our underdog team along under the Spring sun. Yep, we're having some Weather. Yum.

But that's not why I'm frustrated either.

No. I'm frustrated cos I know this town is going to erupt tonight... AND I HAVE NO FUCKING PLANS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT. I can already hear people's horns as they hoon along a main street nearby, tooting and shouting 'C'arn the Power!'.

But no. NOOO. I chose this weekend to still be sick. It's only 6.37pm and I feel like going for a snooze right now in fact. I also chose Thursday to finally start my bloody Summer weight loss diet, meaning no alcohol. Period. So to avoid temptation, I need to stay in the house. Plus sexy!hubby has to work. He has so much work to do these days, poor dear :(.

So I'm stuck in that limbo - I do kinda sorta wanna go out. I have plenty of people I could call if I wanted to do so, and some gorgeous new shoes I'm just itching to wear out... But am I sure I really want to if I can't have a couple of beers in Powerful celebration?? Let alone the bacteria partying in my sinuses inhibiting me? And then there's all the money I'd spend...

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I'm a chick (at least I was last time I checked). And as chicks the world over will attest to, we love shopping.

In fact, I don't think love is a strong enough word. I ADORE shopping. I CRAVE it. I crave the cleansing, cathartic effect it has on me as I spot, select, single out, stamp my claim and finally secure the items of my desire. The only way to get closer to serotonin heaven would be shopping with a block of Cadbury Breakaway clamped firmly in hand.

Yes, shopping is an id-like, tribal throwback thing for females. An extension of the hunter-gatherer instinct just crying out for expression in today's modern world.

Being an Aussie chick, and a summer-lovin' one at that, I require both clothing of a reasonably gorgeous nature, and enough bathroom paraphenalia to keep me sweetly-smelling and smoothly-sloughed throughout the entire summer season.

As you can see, my preferred way of achieving the latter is via Lush Cosmetics. All natural, preservative free, no animals, and they smell like heaven. As we don't have a Lush in Adelaide (anymore), I've had to resort to either ordering it online, or stocking up big on trips to Melbourne and Sydney.

So imagine my absolute delight at discovering (through sphinxy's product whoring, actually, check out the skin-so-named) that Lush have partnered up with Amazon in their brand new Beauty shop. At last! A path to wish-list heaven!

Or so I thought.